Welcome to the Daylight

I think almost all of us know what it's like to have our life planned out, and then watch as most of it, if not all of it falls apart right before our eyes. Or even if our life has gone mostly as planned, there's always at least a few things that haven't panned out leaving us putting "Plan B" into action. Either way, for most people life doesn't always go the way we think it will even when we put all our energy into plans for the future and expect it to play out exactly the way we intend. Even then, sometimes life likes to take us in a different direction. This can be frustrating at best... we want to make the plans, we want to know they'll work out, and we want them to be in our control. And why shouldn't we? After all this is our life. Although... if you're like me, and have lived long enough, you've probably noticed as you look back that some of your decisions, or plans for the future, might not have been the wisest choices. So perhaps life...

It makes sense that it's when our world is turned upside down and everything feels out of control that we need clarity the most. It also makes sense that these are the times when we're the most frustrated, stressed, and anxious, which in turn, clouds our thinking. I know that it's during these times in my own life that I've been the least productive, the most fearful, and hugely scatterbrained. I remember the year I had cancer I ended up with 3 traffic tickets, forgotten appointments, mixed up schedules, and found myself at Target without my purse more times than I can count. Under the circumstances, I think we can agree this was the least of my problems, however, I wish I knew back then what I know now about the benefits of finding calm in the storm. Since then I have found the importance of learning how to calm myself when I'm feeling anxious. I have struggled with anxiety my entire life and eventually got so sick of it that I decided I was going to do whatever i...

Over the weekend I had an experience, one I've had many times as I'm sure you have too in one way or another. My daughter and her friend ordered food from a restaurant and when I found out I asked her if she would pick up an order for me as well. When she went to pick up the order they only had hers ready and not mine even though we both received a confirmation that both orders were ready. My daughter showed them the confirmation text, however, the lady at the desk simply kept saying that they didn't have the order and my daughter didn't have time to stay to figure it out. Instead she called me so I got in the car and headed in that direction. I, of course, was a little annoyed that they sent a text that the order was ready when it wasn't, but was also annoyed that I had to go all the way in to figure it out. Even then, I tried to remain calm remembering that it was probably busy since it was the weekend, and also understanding that sometimes mistakes happen. Howeve...

The Way Of Integrity by Martha Beck was one of the biggest influences on me when I decided to make some huge changes in my life, and it gave me the courage to do so. In the book, Martha explains that being in integrity isn't a self-righteous thing, as religions sometimes make it out to be, but it's a way of living life as who we truly are. The dictionary defines Integrity as, " the state of being whole and undivided" . When we let ourselves relax into who we are, we'll find ourselves looking around and  becoming aware of what's going on within us, in our lives, and all around us, which may mean making some big changes.  It may also mean having to let go of some things that essentially pull us out of our integrity because they're not allowing us to acknowledge what we know to be true. This is hard because it will probably mean leaving certain people, culture, and society behind. It might also mean losing almost everything and being on our own for a while....

Now that I've settled into my new place, the divorce is final, and I'm able to start looking ahead, I'm realizing it's going to take some time to blend the past, the present, and the future. Of course I don't want to just leave the past behind like it never existed, there was a lot I loved about it and it's part of my story, however, I know it's time to move on. I've also realized it's impossible to leave it all in the past, there will always be people, places, and things that are a reminder of where we came from... some good and some bad... either way our experiences mesh together to make us who we are. I remember, when it felt like my life was shattering and I had no idea where it was going to land, hearing a voice say It's not over , meaning there's more of life to live. So here I go, moving on, and having new experiences, one of which happened a week ago... I had to go back to church today for a Farewell and felt a mix of emotions come...