Photograph
Photograph
Coming Home
God never ceases to amaze me...
A year and a half later, everything was going well. My youngest daughter was living with me and attending college, while my oldest daughter was close by, finishing her studies. I was working part-time and focusing on Daylight Coaching. It felt healing to pursue my own hopes and dreams without the constant dread of uncertainty. Although it took time to emerge from survival mode and to break free from my body’s flight or freeze response, I gradually embraced the reality that I was finally safe.
One evening, as I was settling in, I noticed a message pop up on my phone. To my surprise, it was My Ryan, following my Daylight Coaching Instagram page. I hadn’t heard from him in 30 years. Although he often crossed my mind throughout the years, I didn’t know much about his life, except that he had gotten married, had children, and then divorced. Seeing him pop up on my page was shocking, and a little exhilarating.
I considered messaging him but hesitated, unsure if he was in a relationship or simply being supportive. Over the next few days, however, he kept liking everything I posted on Instagram, which felt like more than mere support; it seemed he was trying to get my attention. Eventually, I gave in and messaged him. We arranged to meet for lunch the next day, where we talked for hours.
Through our conversation, I learned that he, too, had faced a difficult and abusive marriage, followed by the heartbreak of losing his parents and brothers. Both of us were navigating the challenge of picking up the pieces and moving on.
From there, we began spending more time together, which led to dating and developing a serious relationship. Ironically, I discovered that it was our ex-spouses who had unintentionally brought us back together. They both attended a gathering for divorcees from our high school. During this event, they shared their stories, and Ryan’s ex learned that my ex and I were divorced. Eager to relay this news—more for the thrill of gossip than genuine concern—she texted Ryan of the news. With this new insight he felt compelled to find me on Instagram and reach out.
So, in a roundabout way, we can thank our exes for reconnecting us😄.
It seems that life has gone full circle and I'm, as always, in awe at how God brings us back, not only to what we want, but what we really need if we're open to it. I’m continually amazed at how this unfolds as I learn to relax and let Him guide me there.
While I’m excited about this new journey and finding it healing, I also recognize that it's not easy; it was never meant to be. Every new season has it's challenges of it's own, however when we accept the challenges God lays before us they lead to healing, health, liberation, and a purpose that makes us feel whole.
My favorite Martha Beck quote is this, "Peace is your home, integrity is your way to it, and all that you long for will meet you there." I wouldn't be where I am now if I wouldn't have let go of what the culture wanted me to do and, instead, trusted my own inner compass I call my Coach to lead me here. I can tell already that this life, even with it's challenges, is completely different. I feel loved, supported, and cared for, not only by Ryan, but by all the people I choose to have in my life. I now have the sense that I'm on the right path because, not only does it feel more at peace, it feels like Coming Home...
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