Silent Night

It's been a few months since I posted. I started a Masters Program in the fall and I can't believe Christmas is already here. I'm feeling a little better, but still struggle with migraines much of the time. I'm finding it takes a lot of effort to calm myself and come back to my inner peace, but what better time to switch my focus than at Christmastime. It's not only the lights and the Christmas spirit that cheers me up, but I love the Christmas music.... and I've loved it even more this year because I've really missed the hope and encouragement it brings. I love all types of music, but i'm particularly drawn to songs that relate to what's going on in my life at the time (as you've probably noticed from this blog). This happened this past fall when I found myself all wrapped up in Taylor Swift's new Red album. Ugh, as if the first version didn't rip my heart out when it was released in 2012.... her new version of All Too Well came along and ripped it out all over again leaving me in a crumpled up mess. The reason Red meant so much to me in the first place was because it felt like the soundtrack to my life in 2013.... and All Too Well the finale of a heartbreaking year. Since then, every fall season I pull out my Taylor Swift playlist and listen to it just once... yes, just once to relive the memories... good and bad, then I put it away for another year (why do we torture ourselves like that?) This time, however, with the new version of All To Well, I couldn't stop listening to it. I was mesmerized by the way she described how a relationship can start out so perfect and then end up so tragic. If you've heard it you know what I'm talking about. I listened to it practically non-stop for about 2 weeks straight... from the time it was released to December 1st when I finally let go of it for Christmas. Thank goodness for that because I desperately needed something... or someone to pull me out of that hole I found myself in, and Christmas music did it. I have now been reminded once again how refocusing on God is what keeps me going and calms me down. Finding a new perspective reminds me that it's not over and that life will go on long after Christmas is through. Too many things in my life have been completely out of my control and it doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon. I need something to hold onto when everything else is swirling around me and someone to pull me out of the depths of despair when I find myself falling into them. I know that sometimes bad things just happen, but it does seem like the universe let's us get shaken up sometimes so that it can give us a new start. However, while it's going on it feels like complete chaos, and it takes time to put the pieces of our broken lives back together, restore our souls, and heal our broken hearts. 

During this Christmas season, along with all the other Christmas music, I've switched out Taylor's All Too Well for Taylor's Silent Night... a song she recorded years before the album Red. It seems fitting that I started the season out with a song that ends in brokenness and despair and then ended it with a song of hope and redemption.  This is my favorite version of Silent Night and a reminder that our lives can change and we can have hope again... it's not over... there's more to our story. Being reminded of that let's me know that eventually things will get better, and eventually I will once again sleep in heavenly peace...

"All is calm and all is bright..."















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