Rewrite the Stars

Since I finished Martha Becks book The Way of Integrity a few weeks ago I've been obsessed with finding the path to my true self, as Martha calls it. I've been trying to pay attention to everything in my life that's not authentically me and then trying to figure out how to shift my life so it's in line with who I am. Martha warns us that this won't be easy and she's right. With every realization and new truth that I come across, I hit an obstacle... okay, not just an obstacle, a mountain... a huge mountain! I know Martha also said this would happen.... that people and culture and circumstances would get in our way... and tell us we can't do it and that we just need to get back in line, sit down, and be quiet... I mean, who do I think I am anyway... leaving the Mormon Church, still believing in God, saying no to unhealthy people and relationships, and trusting that My intuition will pave the way? In the midst of all the naysayers and negativity, sometimes even I wonder if it's possible.... is it possible? Can we really have the life that's  made for us by simply being our true selves... the person that's bursting to come out? And with it find peace, happiness, and rest? Can we really block out all the noise and see the beauty and goodness in the world? And do that simply by staying in our own integrity?

Despite all the road blocks I'm not giving up. In the process I've also been taking in everything I can that will help remind me to keep going even if it seems impossible. I've watched many Utube videos on moving on from unhealthy relationships, and I've been learning in my counseling classes about how people CAN be healthy, happy, and whole... and so can relationships. I've also started reading Martha's first self-help book called Finding Your Own North Star and I listened to an interview between Elizabeth Gilbert and Martha Beck talking about The Way of Integrity and that it IS possible to be your true self and find peace and happiness along the way. So suffice it to say, I've been putting my heart and soul into this and can see there is something to it and the more I see the truth of things, the more I can see the direction I want to go. It also seems the more I find those who are on the same path, the more I am able to fight the negativity coming from people, the news, religion, culture, society, etc... So I am even more grateful to hear from those who think like I do and choose to be bold, optimistic, and encouraging. This lets me know I'm not alone in this battle.

Lately with all this focus on Finding Your Own North Star I've had the song Rewrite the Stars on my mind. I love how they sing about forgetting what everyone else wants them to do, and doing it their way instead. I've always pictured God different than the Mormon God, so my God is telling us not to listen to other people, but, listen to our own inner voice... the voice that's telling us to be free to live our life on our terms and that it's not too late to turn it all around, find our own path, and Rewrite the Stars... 

"It feels impossible... is it impossible... say that it's possible..."








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