Build A Boat

Although I still feel like my world is spinning around me at times and I'm a helpless bystander watching it and wondering when it will stop, lately I have also felt a sense of calm. This has been since I panicked and had a meltdown when I realized I could control nothing and had to let go and let God take over. That shift in thinking gave me a knew perspective and ever since then I have actually felt pretty calm. This is a whole new experience for me and I like it! Being calm in the storm, who knew that was actually possible? There have been many times in my life when things have been hard, even scary, however, I felt peace that everything would be okay. Even then, I still felt somewhat anxious and had to remind myself constantly that things would work out. This is different. The last few weeks I've felt calm almost the whole time. I'm realizing it's not a feeling I'm used to having.... especially under uncertain circumstances. I've decided I'm not going to question it too much and just enjoy it while it lasts.

The other day I was listening to Martha Becks podcast about letting go of control and staying calm and someone put in the comments that now, instead of saying, "I AM the storm", they say, "I AM the calm." Both Martha and I, and I'm sure everyone else listening loved the comment. I've learned that staying calm is the best way to figure out what we're supposed to do next. One of my favorite Martha Beck quotes is, "The answers will come in the calm", and as I practice this, I find it to be true. Many times we think that we only have 2 options, which are usually fight or flight, but when we calm down enough to think things through, we almost always find a 3rd option. It's through this calming down and taking it slow that our mind begins to think outside the box to find another solution. I have also found that many times the 3rd option is something that I could never have come up with on my own. It's usually another choice, a new perspective, or an insight into what's really going on. Call it God, divine intervention, or the universe... I'm surprised every time it happens, and I can't explain it, but it always works. And sometimes the answer is simply to do what I can, and then wait for the answer...

With this new sense of calm I'm feeling myself able to relax a little. I'm finally getting used to getting up everyday, asking God what I need to do, keeping my mind calm and open to answers, and then going on with my day. In the meantime, I'm doing what I can to be prepared for when that clarity comes. So just like Noah, I'll Build A Boat, drag it down to the water, sit by the shore, wait for it to rain, and then, when it's time, I’ll watch for a way to get across... 

"Everything you say is gonna happen, even though I haven't seen it yet..."












 

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