Time After Time

Now that I know that the ending of my marriage is inevitable, I feel like I just want it all to be over with so I can finally move on. I'm doing everything I can to get my finances in order, my business up and running, and assets separated and organized, however, as we know all too well, things always take longer than we think they should. Along with this I have learned throughout my life that it has to be God's timing or it will not work. So every time I begin to feel anxious, desperate, or feel a sense of urgency to move faster, I try to calm myself and I'm reminded to slow down. 

God reminded me of this when Pink's version of Time After Time appeared as I was scrolling through U-Tube. I'm sure there is a logical reason it appeared, but honestly it seems that many times the perfect song just shows up the minute I need it. So, because I love Pink, and I love this song, I listened to it and the part that really hit me were the lyrics, "Sometimes you picture me, I'm walking too far ahead. Your calling to me, I can't hear what you've said. Then you say, go slow, I fall behind..." 

I know there's been many times in my life when I finally know what I need to do and want to run ahead, but I've found this is not wise and realize I still need God to take the lead because there's things that still need to be worked out,  put into place, and mountains that still need to move. So All I can do is keep doing what I'm doing, taking it a day at a time, and wait for doors to open... 

As I'm waiting, however, I'm noticing that I am learning many things. It's been over a year since I've known my marriage is most likely going to end... a year... that's a long time to hang around in a place that no longer serves a purpose. I can see, though, I've learned things, such as, the power and peace of truth, the importance of healthy boundaries and reciprocity in relationships, and the vital awareness that everyone deserves to be loved and appreciated for who they are. I have also learned more patience and to stop and listen when I "fall behind" because I know now God's trying to teach me something, tell me something, or wanting me to see something.

Three years ago, shortly after I hit the deer that turned my life upside down, God told me to "Be still and watch". Ever since then I have been practicing standing back, listening, and observing. Everything I've learned, I've learned by doing this... and it's changed my life. I've realized that God's not just taking His own sweet time getting me out of this situation for no good reason, He's letting things unfold this way for my benefit so that I will be completely prepared, in a good place and ready to move on when the time comes. This is the God that I know. At this point I've abandoned all "religion", anyone else's beliefs, and any "rules" or "have too's" when it comes to God. I'm not even sure if His name is God, or if He's a He... all I know is this Divine Being that IS the compass in my life is wise, loyal, bold, just, faithful, and simple, and I've found that's all I need. Throughout my life He's been there guiding me, strengthening me, defending me, and loving me... again, perfectly suited for me. 

So there is no doubt that He will get me through this as well, He's done it before, and He'll continue to do so... Time After Time... 

"You say go slow... I fall behind..."



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