You Ain't Gotta Pray For Me

You Ain't Gotta Pray For Me

The first time I heard “But Daddy, I Love Him” by Taylor Swift, it seemed a bit dramatic. Yet, after listening to it again and again—because any Swiftie knows that you need to immerse yourself in a song to grasp its full narrative—I found myself relating deeply to its story. It portrays a girl madly in love with a boy whom not only her family but the entire town disapproves of. Despite the opposition, she stands her ground, rebelling against anyone trying to dictate her life choices. She makes it clear that if they want her to settle for a life devoid of love, she’s not listening. Ultimately, they come around, seeing things from her perspective, and the story culminates in a joyful marriage, with her dancing in the sunlight, knowing she made the right choice all along.

This hit me hard—not just because of the story, but also as a metaphor for the struggle of pleasing societal norms rather than following one’s heart. Lately, as I’ve shared my news about the divorce, I’ve encountered well-meaning responses, but some people question whether I’m making the right choice. I understand their intentions come from a place of concern, especially within a faith like the Mormon culture, which often views divorce with skepticism. I get it; divorce is a serious matter. Yet, sometimes, it’s a necessary step, and in this case, it absolutely was.

Despite their apparent concern and disappointment, I stood firm in my decision. I didn’t delve into details, but I felt compelled to convey that I refuse to remain in a one-sided marriage, to pretend that everything is fine, and to accept a life that lacks love and respect just to appease others. It’s disheartening to see that some don’t believe we deserve better. Aren’t we all worthy of a life that's filled with purpose and people who love and support us?

This is the reality in a culture where questioning faith, leaving a marriage, or deviating from the norm is frowned upon. I’ve adhered to these expectations my entire life, and I’m weary of it. We only live once, and if we let others dictate our path, we might reach the end of our life without ever truly living the life that God is paving for us.

Amid the struggles of these past few years, I’ve been met with unexpected joys that feel like divine signs—little reminders that I’m on the right track. My favorite flowers are daisies, and the yard where I’m currently staying is wild and unkempt, filled with grass, trees, and a creek. It feels like a forest, with no flowers in sight. So when I stepped outside the other day and stumbled upon a beautiful bundle of DASIES that seemed to have sprouted overnight, I couldn’t help but shed a few tears. It felt like a sign that I’m moving in the right direction.

Regardless of what others may think, I’m committed to forging my own path, believing in my own faith, finding real love, building a business, and walking off into the sunset. 

Me and my wild boy and all this wild joy... 



"If all you want is gray for me than it's just white noise, and it's my choice..."






 

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