Serenade

This past weekend I went to see, for the last time, my favorite show in the world which is Odyssey Dance Company's Thriller. This is a Halloween themed collaboration of dance, comedy, and scares, and I have seen this every year for the last 20 years beginning when my oldest was a baby and ending with my girls and my sisters joining me for this last show. I know all good things come to an end eventually, but even then I was surprised at how sad I was. I guess I shouldn't be surprised… I danced my entire life... well, all through my school years and into college... and since then at Zumba, in the car, or living vicariously through my girls😀, but still dance is what I loved and I looked forward to this show every year as I much as I look forward to Christmas! 

I know it seems silly to be so sad, after all, it's just a show, but it was something I looked forward to and something I could count on... like my girls walking through the front door, or Bella in her prairie dog pose begging to go for a walk, or the leaves changing on the trees in the fall. I think it also doesn't help that this is the year that it's ending. This Year... when it feels like SO many things are ending. It seems as though the minute I get used to the idea of change and, as I said in my last post, begin to look forward to the future, I find something else that's changing and I'm sad all over again.

Luckily, I've learned within the last year that it's normal to feel this way at times. I think we've all been learning a lot lately about how it's good to let ourselves feel whatever it is we're feeling... and today I'm feeling sad. Martha says, "You can be happy in peace and sad in peace... either way your still in peace" and that's what I'm finding... I'm not anxious or worried or depressed... I'm sad, but I'm in peace. I watched Inside Out the other day and was reminded how, in the movie, Sadness serves a purpose and it wasn't until Joy took the back seat and let Sadness takes over for a bit that the main character, Riley, was able to let go of her childhood imaginary friend, Bing Bong, and move on. I's cathartic and important to let ourselves feel our emotions so we can let them go and eventually move forward. The Neuroanatomist, Jill Bolte Taylor, says that it's emotion that lets us know we're alive. If we didn't have emotions we would either be dead, or robots, or zombies, or something. Thank goodness we live in a world where we have emotions that give us kindness, empathy, and understanding towards ourselves and others and thankfully we are learning how to express them in healthy and creative ways knowing that tomorrow is a new day and that sadness won't last forever.

In the end I know that change is inevitable in this life and that God knows how hard it is for us at times, so He let's us take it at our own pace. He shows us how things need to change one step at a time and then waits patiently by our side while we feel every emotion we need to feel... anger, sadness, grief, betrayal, loss... and then, when were ready, He encourages us onward knowing that what's waiting for us around the corner will be worth it. As I've felt my life transitioning into something new these past few years I've been in awe at how it seems that the minute I realize something is ending and feel a great loss, I turn to see something else beginning and find great joy. I am also amazed when I see God reminding us that with each change, each emotion, and each new beginning, He is always there Serenading us with love, encouragement, and hope... and that's what keeps us moving forward...

"It's hard to say goodbye..."

 


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